So, I realize it's been a while since I've posted. I can't even explain where I've been. I made it through another great musical. I survived the news that Amber and Joe are splitting. I've even grown to accept the idea that Kelsey's pregnant. I can't quite say that I'm excited just yet but I'm working on it. She asked me to go with her to her appointment for an ultrasound on Tuesday. I got to see the baby and it's a boy! Everything looks fine so that's good. I've started looking at knitting patterns so that's good, right??? I want to be a good grandma but the situation is a little strange. I'm trying, really I am....
It's been a tough week. I had my last chorus concert on Wednesday. What the hell am I going to do with myself??? Not teach music??? Really?? It's like a huge slap. And to know that the kids won't be getting a teacher who is excited, happy to be with them and that is going to kill me. Teaching music has been my dream come true and now it's coming to an end. I've been close to tears all week and sometimes the tears have won. And I'm so sick and tired of hearing people say, "Well, at least you still have a job."" Really???? Please. I've given everything I could to this district. I've gone above and beyond what everyone else has done and this is my reward??? Ugh. On top of all of this, Thursday was the 5 month anniversay of Flutie. God, I still miss him like it was yesterday. Now that spring is here, every shadow I see outside, I think it's him. Des was here last night and heard something that for just a second- she thought it was him. Will this ever get easier? Will my heart ever stop aching? Will my tears ever stop?
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